How many words is
George walked through the terminal towards his flight. A bad sandwich roiled in his gut. If that cabbie couldn't figure out how to get on the highway, there was no fucking way he was getting a tip. A man walked up to him,
"Hi, could you tell me which way..."
And George karate chopped him in the neck, causing him to crumple into a heap on the people mover. He charged ahead.
A woman came up to him.
"Hey, you can't just attack people in the..."
And George backhanded her so hard she spun around twice before hitting the ground. George continued.
A security officer ran up to him.
"FREEZE!"
George didn't break stride. He punched the officer square in the chest, and he exploded in a shower of glitter. Somehow even more determined, George leaned forward. The other travelers simply stood in awe.
A small dog ran up to George. It looked at him quizzically, as though to say, "Why, George? Why are doing this? What sequence of events led you to have these kinds of powers, and to use them so casually? Why is there hate in your heart, George? What can I do to help you, George?"
But what George heard was, "Yip yip! Yip yip!"
George kicked the dog, which shot upwards in an thunderous supersonic boom. In a split second it shattered the glass canopy, and as the dog's body was ablated by the Earth's atmosphere, it left a trail of smoke pointing into the sun.
George muttered under his breath, "I am not missing my flight!"
On the other end of the terminal, a small girl ate an ice cream cone. Had anyone been paying attention, they would have noticed that the child didn't seem to have any guardian. Or that the child had been eating the same ice cream cone for three hours. Or that the child was hovering three inches above their chair. But no one had been paying attention, because it was February 1st, and everyone was tired and frustrated trying to get home for Groundhog Day.
George finally made it to his gate. The child looked up.
"Hello, George."
"Hello, Mildred. Have you come to stop me?"
"No, George. I'm afraid you've already been stopped. I'm just here to carry out the temporal mechanics of the situation."
"I have transcended your temporal mechanics. I am now operating on a fully quantum level."
"Is that so? And yet, all you can see is violence."
"Violence is the privilege of the powerful."
"Then it is my privilege to teach you otherwise."
Without moving, Mildred became a wisp of smoke.
George countered by becoming an oscillating fan.
Mildred became a whipped cream pie traveling toward the fan.
George became a clown.
Mildred laughed.
George laughed.
Mildred became a river.
George became a swarm of salmon, swimming upstream.
Mildred became a factory, dumping paper pulp waste into the stream.
George became an environmental documentary about stream dumping.
Mildred became a 30 second TikTok post about the documentary.
George scrolled past.
Mildred became the concept of loneliness.
George became a memory of the past.
Mildred stretched one joyous moment into eternity.
George was every hiccup in a lifetime.
Mildred was the loss of a loved one.
George was the glory of kings.
Mildred was the song to end all songs.
And then George was nothing.
Meanwhile, back in Tuscon, the hot dog eating contest was really heating up. Fernando Bananzo was leading by three dogs, but appeared to be slowing down with five minutes remaining. The scrappy challenger, Dirk Burke, was behind but had gained a second wind.
"Boy I don't think I've ever seen two guys suck down weiners like this," one commentator chirped.
"Then you haven't been to a good party in boystown, Chuck."
"...What?"
"What?"
"..."
"Anyway, Dirk Burke is now within two dogs of Fernando, who is looking a little green around the gills. Dirk is unstoppable."
"Go Dirk!" shouted a mousy brunette from the audience.
And then Dirk became a pile of glitter.
In Moscow, an N-dimensional hyperchess tournament was entering its final stages. The rules of hyperchess are complex, but so widely practiced that every child knows it, so I won't bother repeating them here. The final was between Evgeny Ropachko and Dmitry Pavanov.
"I offer three dorsal pawns for access to the fourth orthogonal hyperplane."
It was a bold gambit. The fourth orthogonal hyperplane was well guarded by Dmitry's hobgoblins and metaknights. It would be difficult for Evgeny to exploit that position, but giving an opponent access to your hyperplane was always a risky move.
"I agree," Dmitry replied. He placed the dorsal pawns in A3, G7, and L44 of his paracausal pathway.
Dmitry moved his Frog Ghost from C4 to D7, capturing one of Evgeny's metaknights.
Evgeny moved his lone Queen into Gamma44 of the fourth orthogonal hyperplane.
Dmitry moved a hobgoblin to Sigma22, blocking the queen's access to the exit portal. Dmitry smirked.
"But you've forgotten something, Dmitry."
"And what is that, Evgeny?"
"It's 4:47pm on February 1st, and I am not left handed."
With his right hand, Evgeny moved the Queen, now invincible for the next 60 seconds, through the fourth orthogonal hyperplane, past the Forest of Regret, down the Bonus Slide, and within three squares of Dmitry's King.
"Checkmate."
(And that is only 900 words)