In the early morning light of a small midwestern town, two figures sat at a table in a busy diner. Sunlight shined in through the large windows, glinting harshly on the silverware. The smell of eggs and pancakes wafted through the air, accompanied by the sounds of sizzling sausage and clinking plates. Seated closer to the door, a young man nervously played with his fork. Seated on the other side of the table, a young woman watched him with curiosity.

"So what brings you to breakfast? It's a little early for you, isn't it? And where's your girlfriend?" The woman looked at him with mild concern.

"She's still asleep. That's kind of what I'm here about." The man stared at his fork.

"Huh? Is there something wrong with her sleeping?"

"No... I guess..."

"Are you guys ready to order?" A middle-aged waitress stood by the table with pen and order pad in hand.

"Yeah. I'll start," the young woman replied. "I'll have a haystack with sausage; eggs over easy."

"Anything to drink?"

"Water is fine."

The waitress turned to the young man. "And for you?"

"I'll have the two by two by two."

"Bacon or sausage?"

"Bacon."

"How would you like your eggs?"

"Uh... scrambled."

"White toast or wheat toast?"

"White toast, please."

"And what would you like to drink?"

"Just water, please."

"Alright, thank you very much. I'll have that out for you in just a little bit." The waitress collected their menus and walked away.

The young woman resumed the conversation. "So what's wrong with Lexi? She's not sleeping properly?"

"No, she's sleeping fine..." the young man hesitated, continuing to stare at his fork. "I... I don't think things are working out for us."

"Oh?" The young woman managed to overload that one syllable with concern, curiosity, and pity.

The young man sighed. "It all started out so great. She was everything I ever wanted. Or at least everything I thought I wanted. I had it specified so exactly. But... I guess..."

"It's not enough," the young woman completed.

"Yeah." An uncomfortable silence followed, filled only by the white noise produced by other patrons and staff.

"Why are you bringing this to me, anyway?"

The young man looked up for a moment at his friend, then back down at his fork.

"You're one of my best friends," he said. "And you have a boyfriend. I thought you could give me some advice... or maybe sympathy."

The young woman sighed.

"I honestly thought it was kind of weird at first, but once I saw that you were happy with her, I was happy for you, too. Maybe it's just not meant to be." She paused for a moment. "Is it the sex?" The young man reddened.

"No... there's... sex. And it's good... I guess," he stammered. "It's more of an emotional problem. I mean, she smiles and she laughs, and we play video games together... go for walks... and she's beautiful, there's no doubt about it."

"You gave her my freckles." The young woman grinned wryly. "I thought that was rather flattering."

"Ah, you noticed that, did you? It's one of your best features." The young man reddened again. "It's like all the right parts are there, but there's still something missing, you know?"

"Love."

"No, I love her..."

"Do you?" The young man stopped mid-sentence. He attempted to retort, but remained silent. The young woman continued. "You picked her out of a catalog and customized her on a website. Sure, she's technically self-aware, but she's not a person. She is a fantasy that you are living out in the real world. She doesn't question you. You don't have to work for her approval. She will forgive every one of your faults because she's programmed to. She's not your girlfriend, she's just a self-indulgent substitution for a real relationship."

Several lead-weighted moments plodded past.

"And I've failed at even that." The young man stared at his lap.

"No. The problem is that you're no longer satisfied with a fake. You've grown out of your little fantasy world."

"So what do I do?"

"Have her recycled -- I don't know. You need to go find yourself a real girl. Someone with hopes and dreams and fears and problems. She's out there somewhere. Go find her."

"Yeah..." The young man stared out the window. The waitress returned.

"Alright, who had the haystack?"