bytex64.net

As I am wont to do, I've started playing a new game. Well, an old game. The original Half-Life, released in 1998. I understand that I'm a little... behind the times here, but just to feed my ego, and because I should write more often, I'm going to tell all of you what I think about it.

I'm not going to bother with a spoiler warning. If you haven't played Half-Life by now and still want to, you should seek professional help.

Let me start off by saying that Half-Life is without a doubt, one of the most frustrating games I have ever played. By that I don't mean "difficult." I'm no stranger to difficult games like Mega Man or R-Type. Half-Life, in contrast, is not merely difficult. Poorly designed areas litter the game, leaving the player grasping at straws and dying for no good reason.

Expect to replay certain parts of Half-Life a lot. Plenty of times you'll be up against forces you just can't beat the Rambo way. Half-Life forces you to think, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, most of the learning happens through repetition. Unexpected events are not always survivable, and you'll wind up playing that area again, avoiding the random explosion that killed you before.

A number of places stand out as great examples of what not to do in game design. When fighting the tentacles in the rocket test chamber, you have to climb down to a large fan. For some reason, the switch to this fan is below the fan, requiring you to hit the switch and then quickly scramble up the ladder before the giant spinning fan gets up to "frappe" speed. Now the game, having scared you shitless of becoming a high-speed pile of Gordon gibs, expects you to jump into this giant fan of death, riding the air current upwards. Not only is this the most ridiculous way of accessing an air vent ever devised, there's no logic that points the player in the right direction. You're supposed to know that the fan won't kill you, but that information isn't there.

Later, you're riding an underground train through a network of tunnels. There are switches on the wall, but unlike every other switch in the game, which you walk up to and hit the "use" key, these only switch when shot at. It's something the player can figure out, but it breaks the rules set out earlier in the game. It's poor design.

To nitpick further, everyone in the game seems to know who Gordon Freeman is, but Gordon seems to know nothing about the layout of Black Mesa. There's no map, a feature that would be very handy in a game as sprawled out as Half-Life. DOOM had a map, people. Even more frustrating, there's no way to review or repeat the directions you're given. You had better be a sharp listener, because those scientists are only going to explain themselves once.

All this in addition to asinine jumping/timing puzzles, capricious enemy placement, and a continual sense of "where the hell am I going?" lead me to conclude that Half-Life is overrated. PC games in 1998 must have been in a pretty sorry state if this was the best they had to offer.

The plan was to drive up to Chicago and spend the weekend there to visit Kan Kan, who is also visiting. This plan went, as plans often go, arye. I successfully drove through miles and miles of salt, rain, ice, and snow, only to cock things up in the last twenty feet.

When driving back to Marcin's house late Saturday night, I took the turn into the parking lot too fast and slid into a concrete barrier. The barrier was at just the right height and location to bullseye the bottom of my radiator. So I now have a radiator that does a pretty good imitation of a sieve. For those at home who are not familiar with the operation of the modern combustion engine, the radiator is a vital organ which cools the engine. Running an engine with no coolant in it can damage it in less than a minute.

The plan right now is to get the car towed to a nearby shop where hopefully it can be repaired by the week's end. I didn't get to do any of this today, since it's Sunday, but hopefully tomorrow I can get this all sorted out.

The upshot is that I'm going to be up here for a while. This makes me a little nervous. I'm stuck in the suburbs — a vast and sprawling metropolitan area defined by its reliance on the car — and I have no car. The good news is that I have friends nearby, a place to stay, and an excuse to hang out with Kan while she's in town. Things could certainly be a lot worse. I just hope I do get out of here before I start to like it. :/

In other news, Yan, Marcin, and I played some Mario Kart DS. I owned them so hard they were getting frustrated with each other. If anyone wants to race, I'm looking for a challenge. :)

I have a bit of a problem staying organized. So far, the best method I've found for getting things done is to just remember the things I have to do. I've tried writing things down, setting alarms, to-do lists... I've even messed around a little with the Getting Things Done concept. Ultimately, I don't have the personal discipline to use any of these organizational methods in the long run. Having filed the things I need to do, I subsequently forget about them. Erickson, clever man that he is, has figured out a solution: I should get a secretary.

It seems like a perfect solution. When it comes to gadgets, I absolutely have to be the one in control. I refuse to be a slave to a beeping pocket widget. It is possible, however, for me to respect another human being enough to actually listen to it. I mean him/her. With someone there to nag me, I might actually get something done. Especially if it's a she. Especially if she's a redhead.

While we're riding this misogynist fantasy train, why stop at just a redhead secretary? It would also be nice to have an Asian girl who can cook. Heck, let's throw in a blonde who can do housekeeping. I'll have them call me Charlie. :)

(What? Ken Akamatsu? I have no idea what you're talking about...)

No, I'm not going to start looking for a secretary. I'm not that busy. But if I were, it probably would be the best solution.

Oh, and hello to my unknown visitors from New York, Iran, and the botnet harvester in France. :)

SpiderOak is now officially downloadable. This is not like that time two weeks ago when I told some of you we were launching tomorrow, or the time last week when I said the same thing right here. This time it really is downloadable without an invitation code.

YAY!

Me: The #1 killer of hard drives is heat.
Me: A close #2 is probably people dropping them.
Jen: #3....water spillage?

Full Disclosure: I work for SpiderOak, and the following is a shameless, shameless plug.

How many irreplaceable files do you have in only one location? You should back up, but it's such a pain in the ass to do, right? Wouldn't it be nice to back up your files to some place safe without making it a tedious, repetitive chore? Enter: SpiderOak.

SpiderOak is an automated desktop backup application. You tell it what to back up, and whenever something changes, SpiderOak automatically backs it up to our secure servers. Files that are backed up can be easily shared with others, and previous versions are kept, just like a wiki. Most importantly, your files are encrypted at your computer and then sent to us; we can't look at your data unless you want us to.

"So does this mean that I can back up my pr0nz, w4r3z, and mp3z to SpiderOak, and the legal copyright owners can't prove anything if SpiderOak is legally required to hand over my data?"

Yup!

*ahem* Not that we endorse such things... The best part is that SpiderOak gives you a 2GB account for free. 2GB of backup, more than enough to store your most important files, for absolutely nothing. And for some cash, you can get even more.

So check it out. You know you should. :)

I pondered for a few minutes whether or not I should even write a post about this... you'll see the irony in a second.

Nancy linked me to a recently freed novel called Postsingular, by Rudy Rucker. Being a sucker for both things sci-fi and free, I decided to give it a go. Oh, and by the way, don't bother reading most of the above site... the book isn't as good as they make it sound.

The novel is a magical traipse through the world as it happens after massively intelligent computers appear. Naturally, this happens through nanotechnology and quantum whatsits. Twice. That's the odd thing about Postsingular, it has a couple of odd half-starts (which I believe are reworked short stories) that lay the groundwork before the real story begins about 50 pages in. The story gets stranger and stranger as it goes, adding layer upon layer of fantasy to a rather compelling narrative.

I use the word "magical" above because while at first Postsingular reads like a Neal Stephenson novel, it lacks the kind of technical grounding that makes his novels so compelling. Rucker tends to just make things up and hopes you'll follow along. Things like fully reversible nanocomputational devices stretched my suspension of disbelief just a skitch too far. But inside what could be more accurately termed a technological fantasy novel lies an interesting and entertaining plot. After all, it doesn't have to be believable to be fun. :)

In the book's future, the internet takes a decidedly weird turn by being re-realized as a bunch of self-replicating nanocomputers called "orphids." The orphids attach themselves to every surface on earth, turning the whole world into a physically-based computational network. By using this network, you can see places beyond yourself, and expand your mind beyond its physical limits. "Kiqqies" exploit the orphidnet to its fullest, traveling the world like bums, but taking advantage of all it has to offer.

As a small side note, why is it that every sci-fi novelist writes the cyberpunk future as rife with bisexuality? Either it's an excuse to put in plausible spontaneous lesbian sex, which makes it sexist, or they actually believe that's what sexual freedom means, which makes them idiots. Trust me, guys aren't going to up and start liking the cock just because women are crazy. And as much as all of us guys would like to think so, girls aren't going to dive face-first into a vagina as an alternative to asshole guys.

Despite occasionally delving into frenzied meta-masturbation about the future "blogosphere," Postsingular maintained enough oomph to bring me to the end. The characters aren't incredibly deep, but their variation provides necessary contrast as the story progresses. If you like the super-nanomachine cyberpunk future thing, and you don't automatically stop reading at words like "vlogger," you should give Postsingular a try. You certainly can't beat the price.

On our third day, James and I took a tour of the New Belgium Brewery. It's really interesting to take a brewery tour, as each brewery has a unique history. Also, you get to drink beer. :) New Belgium is the third largest microbrewery in the country, after Sierra Nevada and Samuel Adams. They do pretty well for themselves, considering they distribute their beer mainly west of the Mississippi (Chicago being a notable exception). They have a lot of innovative mechanisms to recycle their waste. For example, their used grain is collected and sent to beef farms in the surrounding area. They process their wastewater on site, yielding enough methane to provide up to 15% of their electricity needs. All their other power is sourced from windmills in the surrounding area, making them one of the few breweries running on 100% renewable energy.

We tried to make it to other breweries nearby, but showed up too late. We drove around a recently closed airfield, then headed down to the mall. I've talked about their mall before... it's nothing to talk about. We looked around, played some VIRTUAL ON and SEGA Rally, then headed back home.

Later that night we met Ashley's mom and stepdad. After bonding over a beer, we all went to Austin's in Old Town, which had an amazing buffalo meatloaf. It had portobello mushrooms inside and grilled onions on top... it was great. At one point the CSU marching band stopped by to play a few rousing tunes (they had a football game the following day).

On Saturday, we all headed up into the mountains. Our first stop was food and beer at the Estes Park Brewery. They had free tasting, so James and I tried a few before we ate lunch. They have a really good porter, and a honey wheat called the Stinger, which boasts more alcohol than normal due to the addition of honey before fermentation.

We then drove up into Rocky Mountain National Park, making a slight detour to see the world's largest YMCA. We hiked up to a couple of lakes above 9000 feet, and drove up Trail Ridge Road to a beautiful view. Exhausted from our adventures, we headed back to Fort Collins to try the hippiest food substance I've ever seen: Tempeh. We had it fried on a sandwich, which was... interesting. It has its appeal, but it'll never replace beef (especially in Colorado, where they have great beef).

Afterwards we returned to Ashley's place to drink beers and watch the Rockies lose the third game of the World Series. Some sleep and a 15.5 hour drive later, I'm back home in the flatlands of Illinois.

Sometimes all the best planning goes to waste. Sometimes no planning at all works out perfectly. This is surely an example of the latter.

Monday James called me, saying he unexpectedly had some vacation time right now and that it would be a great opportunity to go on our delayed trip to Fort Collins. It didn't work out that well for Ashley, but we wound up going anyway when James found out he couldn't take back his vacation days. He drove down to my place, and the following morning, we left. 18 hours later, we arrived, very tired but none worse for the wear.

I have to hand it to Ashley, her place always feels like home; there's always a friendly smile and a cold beer (and a stupid dog) waiting for you. After sleeping, James and I spent our first day lounging. James was glad to just relax for a while, and I refreshed my memory as to why I don't watch TV. Once Ashley got off work, we ate dinner at Hibachi, a Japanese tappanyaki place. You know the ones, where they grill your food right in front of you while bantering and juggling the food. A great show, but my salmon was overcooked, a fact they attempted to cover with a delicious sauce. Ashley kept darting into the other room to check the score (Denver was playing Boston in the World Series). Things went pretty badly for the Rockies.

Today James and I decided to roam around the countryside looking for abandonded airports and towns. It turns out, though, that even in the arid plains of western Colorado, things aren't as abandoned as the internet [WARNING: Late 90's website] tells you they are. The abandoned airfield near Fort Collins was just disused — CSU was making good use of its facilities. Our first ghost town had signs of life and no treaspassing signs. We checked out some natural dirt formations, but you'll have to wait for the pictures to really appreciate that. Every other town still had people living there, so we checked out some nearby electric generating windmills.

Let me tell you... those things are huge. We got a chance to see some of them under construction. The blades and one of the tower segments were lying on the ground, and up close they were much bigger than I imagined. The blade base is five feet in diameter, and the blades are probably 30 feet long. The generator is as big as a truck. Again, pictures will have to do it justice; words cannot.

On the way home I picked up some ingredients to make dinner, a simple pasta dish made of fettucine, chicken, zucchini, garlic, and pasta sauce. With Ashley's collection of fine cheeses, it was great. We watched Denver lose again, but the series is far from over.

Tomorrow, we'll probably hit up some brewery tours. Stay tuned. :)

For the last week, I've been poking around Microsoft's .NET platform. For the unfamiliar, .NET (the platform) is a bytecode-based virtual machine that allows object-oriented languages to interoperate. This is not to be confused with .NET, the marketing ploy, which is what they're calling everything now that "XP" is passé.

The short list of languages supported by Microsoft's .NET Framework is C++, JScript, VBScript, J#, and C#. C# is a language designed specifically for .NET, and most effectively takes advantage of its features. The other languages have been more or less retrofitted with extensions that allow them to take advantage of .NET's features. C++ specifically has the ability to bridge the gap with native code, and it's most commonly used as a middle layer inbetween .NET apps and native code. Also available are Python and Ruby, and people are working on some unholy unions like L#.

At first blush, .NET looks a lot like Java: sources are compiled to machine-independent bytecode run through a JIT compiler to achieve acceptable speed. .NET improves upon this idea by separating the runtime from the language. The Common Language Runtime (CLR) manages security and interoperability of programs and libraries. All of the languages mentioned above are compiled into IL (Intermediate Language), allowing developers to write code in whatever they're most familiar with and integrate output from multiple languages into a single project. Furthermore, plenty of wrappers around traditional C/C++ libraries exist (you can spot them because they typically have a # appended to the name), so you can get up to speed quickly.

But a cross-platform environment would be no good if everything only ran on Windows. Thankfully, Microsoft has made some of the core parts of .NET (the CLR and C#) ECMA standards, freely available for everyone to use. The folks over at Mono are working on ".NET for the rest of us," and so far have it working on Linux, Solaris, OS X, and Windows. In fact, if you're running Ubuntu, you probably already have it installed.

So why bother? Well, first check out swarm.NET. It's a C# port of swarm.3 as seen on my hacks page, using SDL. That was written and debugged on my laptop, running Slackware 12. The resulting executable runs without modification on Windows. That is, I can make decently-performing games that run on every major platform out there, out of the box, without ever touching a Windows machine. That is hot shit.

I think Nancy put it best: "This sounds like the way it's meant to be..."

"Love Conquers All" is a phrase reiterated by many a romantic, but upon further inspection seems to be pure bullshit. Love vs a grizzly bear? The grizzly will win every single time. Here's a short list of just a few things love cannot conquer.

1. The sun
2. Being trapped in a giant microwave
3. The speed of light
4. Climate change
5. The urge to strangle little yipping dogs carried in purses
6. Entropy
7. Failing to save your document before a power failure
8. Terminal illness
9. Other, more powerful love
10. Samuel L. Jackson
11. Packages destroyed by UPS
12. Signal interference
13. Lag
14. Bear cavalry
15. Forgetting your parachute after jumping out of a plane
16. Having your head separated from your torso
17. Spontaneous combustion
18. Going backwards in time
19. Human stupidity

It would probably be more accurate to say "Love conquers certain specific situations, mainly those that can be remedied by putting forth extra effort," but that's kinda long-winded.