bytex64.net/blog

NOTE: Please see the update on this story, it changes the result considerably.

As it often happens, Erickson and I will be talking about computers and he'll make a statement about how great Macs are, almost always something about his beloved MacBook. I then respond that I'll never buy one until they sell one with a multi-button mouse. He replies (quite rightly) that you can plug whatever mouse you want into it. "But I hate Mac OS X," I opine, already aware of where this conversation is headed. He points out that I can just install Linux on it. I explain, "If I'm not going to run Mac OS X on it, I can just buy something else and not pay the Apple Tax." With a quite self-satisfied smirk, he brings up his ultimate point: "There is no Apple Tax. Apples cost as much or less than similarly equipped PCs from other manufacturers."

I am officially calling bullshit.

Not, mind you, on the part about Apples being cheaper than a Dell or a HP. This part is true. But the seeming disappearance of the Apple Tax is merely sleight of hand by Apple's premier magician, Steve Jobs. For the sake of argument, I'm going to be comparing the Apple of my eye, the $2499 quad-core Mac Pro, to a very similar homebuilt machine. Before I begin, I should give a detailed breakdown of the machine in question.

• A motherboard using Intel's 5000X chipset
• Two Intel Xeon 5030 2.66Ghz CPUs
• Two 512MB 667MHz DDR2 FB-DIMMs
• One 250GB 7200RPM 3.0GB/s SATA drive
• NVIDIA GeForce 7300GT 256MB w/dual DVI
• One 16X dual-layer DVD±R/W drive
• One fuggin' huge power supply (likely 700W or above)
• Keyboard, mouse, case

First, the motherboard. So high up into the performance range, there are only a few manufacturers to choose from. Tyan, Supermicro, and Intel. I've been rather satisfied with Supermicro boards in the past, so I'm going to go with the X7DAL-E. It can be found for $385.

The CPUs won't vary much in price, so we'll just get a couple of them from Newegg for $155.49 a piece.

Memory. I'm not really interested in heatsinks, LED displays, matched pairs, or any other fancy hoohah, so I'm going to go with two 512MB sticks of good ol' Kingston Value Ram. Don't let the name fool you, this stuff has to pass all the same tests as their regular products. It just doesn't come blister-packed and shiny like the ones you find in stores. $97 each.

For the Hard Drive, it's not hard to find people who swear by a certain brand. According to some independent research (ATMOS computer support), no one drive manufacturer tends to fail more than any other. The whole thing really is a crapshoot. But if, heaven forbid, the day comes when your data goes tits-up, it may at least be comforting to have the drive still under warranty. And this is where things differ. Most manufacturers will give you a parts/labor warranty between one and three years, depending on the drive. Seagate is the only manufacturer that gives you a five year warranty. One 250GB Barracuda 7200.10, please. $69.99.

A GeForce 7300GT comes in a number of different flavors, but a dual DVI version will cost you, oh, about $80.

A DVD±RW drive shouldn't be that big of a decision. I've been very satisfied with Lite-On in the past, so I'll get one of those for $45.99. It's even black. I like black.

We've got to get a case to put all this stuff in, now don't we? We should get something versatile that doesn't skimp, offers plenty of cooling, and maybe even looks cool. Oh, and it has to come in black. Something like a Cooler Master Stacker. $281.98 shipped. (Why it costs $6 more to ship than the silver version is beyond me)

You'd think a >$200 case would come with a power supply, wouldn't you? Nope. A power supply is definetly one place you should not skimp. Every other part you buy depends on this one part to supply it clean power. Poor-quality power supplies can cause system instability or premature component failure. And having a power supply that is rated for your load is absolutely vital. Since we've got a lot of upgrade possibilities here, I'm going overkill and getting a 1000W unit, this OCZ GameXStream from Newegg. $308.01 shipped.

The Mac Pro comes with a mouse and keyboard, too, so we should equip our machine likewise. Keyboards/mice are often though of last when building a computer, but they are the devices that most direcly affect our experience with the machine. Their importance can not be understated. And very few companies have been building typing machines longer than IBM. Of course, I'm talking about the legendary IBM Model M keyboard. They can be picked up for $50 at clickykeyboards.com. Finding its companion, the 3-button USB IBM ScrollPoint mouse, proves to be a little harder, but it seems that they can be had on eBay for as little as $12.45.

As mentioned in the opening paragraph, some of that $2499 is paying for OS X, so to be fair, we should add in the cost of an OS as well. This is where it gets a bit fuzzy. If I wanted to be completely fair, I could throw in a copy of OS X Tiger for $124.98. But since the legality of running that on non-Apple hardware is pretty much nonexistent, I'm going to add in a copy of the next worst thing, Windows Vista Premium OEM Chunky Bacon Ranch (OK, I made up the last three words there). $110.99.

So what's the damage? *drum roll*.

$1849.38

For those without a calculator, that's about $650 less than the Mac. It's over $1000 less than a similar $2887 Dell Precision 490. And it's over $2000 less than a similar $3932 HP xw6400. Therein lies the ruse. The Apple Tax is still there, it's just hiding in the shadow of the Dell Tax and the HP Tax.

The savings don't stop there, though. Use Linux, save $110. Already have a mouse and keyboard? That'll save $62 or so. You certainly don't need a 1000W power supply if you don't plan on adding lots of drives. A 600W unit can be had for about $200 less. That case, while pretty damned cool, can be replaced with one for half that price, easily. If you go that route, you'll wind up with a machine costing about $1337. (Full disclosure: I may have doctored those numbers to get that result. :) )

The bottom line is: You are still going to save lots of money by building a machine yourself. For me, at least, it's the better choice.

(Note: I may have made a mistake in either the calculations or approximation of the Mac Pro. If I did, please let me know.)

There's a new anime adaptation of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" out, called appropriately enough, "Romeo x Juliet." Jen has already written a decent review of the show, so I won't bore you with the details. It's, um, a gross understatement to say that it's not exactly canon. The show deviates so far from the original that it can be considered an "alternate universe" storyline.

That's exactly why I like it.

Fact is, Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" is just a terrible story. Two teenagers fall madly in love for like three days amidst political turmoil, then kill themselves because they can't imagine living without the other. Romantic and beautiful love story? No. Daytime soap opera? Definetly.

While I don't generally find it sporting to make fun of dead guys, I nonetheless feel that his story deserves the full power of my ridicule. Stand well back; I am about to crank my sarcastic wit up to 11!

ACT I

Romeo is listening to Dashboard Confessional in his room when Benvolio enters.

Benvolio: Hey, cuz, what's up?
Romeo: God, life fucking sucks. Leave me alone.
Benvolio: Huh? What, are you getting all weepy about some bitch again?
Romeo: She's not just some bitch! Her name is Rosaline, and she is my one and only love!

Romeo cries, causing his black eyeliner to run down his face.

Benvolio: Dude. You're being a total pussyfest. Why don't you just bang her like a normal guy?
Romeo: She's becoming a nun!
Benvolio: So?
Romeo: You can't bang a nun! They're chaste!
Benvolio: (aside) Not on the websites I've seen... (to Romeo) Ok, you know what you need?
Romeo: To kill myself?
Benvolio: Pussy. We're going to a party.
Romeo: Leave me to dwell in my sorrow!
Benvolio: Rosaline is going to be there.
Romeo: Alright, let me reapply my makeup...

Romeo and Benvolio, joined by Mercutio, arrive at the party.

Benvolio: Ah, we're here.
Romeo: I'm gonna go have a smoke. You guys have fun.
Mercutio: Oh, fuck that shit. You're here to get laid, my friend.
Romeo: I don't feel like it.
Mercutio: Look. Stop being such an emo bitch and go meet some girls.
Romeo: I had a dream last night...
Mercutio: Oh, God. You and your dreams. I had a dream last night, too. There was a fairy, and she was hot, and I fucked her. Just like you're going to do tonight.
Romeo: Why are you guys so mean to me?

Romeo wanders onto the dance floor and begins awkwardly swaying side to side in beat with the music. Suddenly, he sees Juliet.

Romeo: (to a servant) Whoa. Who's that cute girl in the emo glasses over there?
Servant: I haven't a clue.
Romeo: She's so hawt!

Elsewhere, Lord Capulet and Tybalt watch the party.

Tybalt: Motherfucker.
Capulet: What? Where are you going?
Tybalt: That's Romeo Montague, one of our sworn enemies. I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.
Capulet: Calm down. You're not going to ruin this party by killing someone. Again.
Tybalt: Ngrrrr... That clown had it coming!

Romeo walks up to Juliet.

Romeo: Hey. You're like, hawt. Let's make out.
Juliet: Okay.

Sloppy makeouts ensue.

Nurse: Hey, Juliet. Your mom wants to talk to you.
Romeo: (to Nurse) Oh, shit, is she a Capulet!?
Nurse: Uh, ya.
Romeo: OH SHIT!
Benvolio: RUN AWAY!

Romeo, Benvolio, and Mercutio get the fuck out of Dodge.

Juliet: Who was that guy?
Nurse: Mercutio.
Juliet: No, the other guy.
Nurse: Benvolio?
Juliet: No, the guy who couldn't dance.
Nurse: Oh. That was Romeo. He's a Montague, one of your family's sworn enemies.
Juliet: Ah, Romeo...
Nurse: Did you hear the last part? About the sworn enemies?
Juliet: He's so dreeeeeeamy...
Nurse: *sigh*

ACT II

Romeo sneaks away from Benvolio and Mercutio and back into the Capulets' orchard.

Romeo: I can't go back, I have to see her again!

Mercutio and Benvolio look for Romeo.

Mercutio: Wait, hold on. Did Romeo go home?
Benvolio: No, I think he jumped this wall and went into the Capulets' orchard.
Mercutio: That guy has a chemical imbalance in his brain. Let's go home.
Benvolio: No kidding.

Romeo sneaks over to Juliet's window. He has mysteriously procured a small portable stereo system. Raising the stereo above his head, it begins to play a song by My Chemical Romance.

Romeo: (screaming over the music) I LOVE YOU, JULIET!
Juliet: Ay me!

Later, Romeo goes to see Friar Laurence.

Friar: Wow, you're here early. Or late. You didn't sleep last night, did you?
Romeo: How could I sleep, when I was with my one and only love?
Friar: Oh, dear. Were you with Rosaline?
Romeo: Who?
Friar: Nevermind.

Romeo receives a text message.

Juliet: HAY WHATS UP
Romeo: WANT 2 GET MARRIED
Juliet: SURE LOL
Romeo: :-D:-D:-D MEET AT FRIAR LORENCES

Later, at Friar Laurence's cell.

Friar: I now pronounce you man and wife.

Sloppy makeouts ensue.

ACT III

Benvolio and Mercutio are hanging out at the local mall.

Benvolio: What are we doing here? If any Capulets find us, we're fucked for sure.
Mercutio: Ah, quit yer bitchin'.

Tybalt appears.

Tybalt: What's up, faggots?
Mercutio: You want a piece of this?
Tybalt: Sit down, fool. Where's your friend Romeo?

Romeo enters.

Tybalt: Motherfucker.
Romeo: Why are you so mad? We're family, now! One big, happy family! Yay!
Tybalt: What the fuck are you talking about? I'm here to kill you.
Mercutio: If it's a fight you want, how about you fight me?
Tybalt: *sigh*. Fine.

The duel is over quickly.

Mercutio: Oh God, what the fuck was I thinking?

Mercutio dies.

Romeo: You killed Mercutio!

In a completely uncharacteristic act of rage, Romeo kills Tybalt.

Tybalt: Motherfucker!

Prince Escalus enters and surveys the mess.

Prince: What the fuck is this shit?

Prince Escalus banishes Romeo from Verona. Elsewhere, Juliet hears the news.

Juliet: WTF!? Nurse, go fetch Romeo so I can see him one last time!
Nurse: Um, ok...

In Friar Laurence's cell, Romeo hears his sentence.

Friar: You've been banished from Verona.
Romeo: WHAAAAAAT!?

Juliet's nurse knocks at the door

Nurse: Is Romeo here?
Friar: Yeah, he's here. He's been crying since he heard the news. He's such a woman.
Nurse: Yeah. Juliet wants to see him. Say, why are we doing this, again?
Friar: I have absolutely no idea.

Romeo arrives at Juliet's balcony once again.

Romeo: Hey babe.
Juliet: You killed my cousin. WTF?
Romeo: He killed my friend.
Juliet: Oh. So you're banished now.
Romeo: Ya. Don't worry, I'll visit you!
Juliet: I miss you already!

Romeo leaves, and Juliet's mom enters.

Lady Capulet: Hey, I know you're upset over your cousin's death and all, but you're going to marry Paris.
Juliet: Sure, whatever, Mom.

Juliet's mom leaves.

Juliet: Oh, god, I can't take it anymore! I'm going to kill myself!

ACT IV

Juliet goes to see the Friar, and meets Paris there.

Paris: Juliet, my love! We are to be married!
Juliet: Get bent.

Paris leaves.

Juliet: If I have to marry him, I'll kill myself first!
Friar: I have a better idea. I have a potion that will make it so you only look dead. Then once everyone thinks you're dead, you can run away with Romeo. It's brilliant!
Juliet: ... and you're a man of the church?
Friar: (aside) Brilliant.
Juliet: Gimme.

Friar Laurence sends an email to Romeo about the plan, which gets destroyed by an overactive spam filter because it used the word "drug." Later that night, Juliet sits alone in her room, about to drink the potion.

Juliet: Hm. Is the Friar is trying to poison me to cover his ass? What if I suffocate when they put me in the family vault? Oh, God, I'm going to be surrounded by dead people! Oh, Romeo!

Ignoring her rational thought processes, Juliet drinks the potion and falls deathly still. The next morning, she is found.

Nurse: OH SHIT!
Lady Capulet: OH SHIT!
Lord Capulet: OH SHIT!
Paris: OH SHIT!
Friar: (to himself) BRILLIANT!

ACT V

Romeo roams the streets, exiled in Mantua, blissfully ignorant of Juliet's plans. He meets a friend, Balthasar.

Romeo: Today is going to be a wonderful day, I can feel it!
Balthasar: Hey, um, Romeo. Juliet is dead.
Romeo: OH SHIT! I can't bear this pain, I'm going to kill myself!

Romeo goes to a drugstore.

Romeo: I need poison.
Clerk: I can't sell you poison, they'll kill me for that.
Romeo: But you're poor and going to die anyway!
Clerk: Wow, way to belittle the lower class. Here you go, have fun dying.

Romeo and Balthasar go to the Capulet vault.

Romeo: Alright, I'm going to go see Juliet because I, uh, have to get a ring off her hand. You stay here. If you come to take a peek, I will rip you limb from limb. Capiche?
Balthasar: (aside) Fucking necro...

Inside, Romeo meets Paris.

Paris: What the fuck are you doing here?
Romeo: I am on a hair trigger right now, OKAY!? So get the fuck out of my way before I do something crazy!

Romeo kills Paris.

Romeo: Oh, you poor man! Let me lay you down in the tomb with Juliet. WHY DO WE HURT THE ONES WE LOVE!?

Romeo drinks the poison.

Romeo: HURGGGH!

Friar Laurence enters the tomb. Juliet awakens.

Friar: What the fuck?
Juliet: Guh wha? Where am I? Where's Romeo?
Friar: Our plan has gone horribly wrong! Romeo is dead!
Juliet: Oh Romeo! Why have you... Wait. "Our plan"?
Friar: Um...
Juliet: Just get out.

Friar Laurence leaves.

Juliet: Oh, look, a dagger! Be with you shortly, Romeo!

Juliet falls on the dagger. Elsewhere, in Heaven...

Darwin: Booyah! Pay up!
Cupid: Jesus, man, you don't have to be a dick about it.
Jesus: Hey, watch your mouth.

<rhetorical question about life>

<rash generalization expressing discontent about my state in life, especially that pertaining to my lack of female companionship>

<further observations hilighting idiosyncracies in both my thoughts and others>

<blatant self-loathing mixed with not-so-subtle inuuendo about sexual frustration>

<an exploration of self that attempts to find reason in the randomness of life>

<resignation>

<facile acceptance and a hollow parting thought that everything will be alright>

"But Chip, it's Wednesday!"

*BLAM*

Don't question my logic.

I'm a huge fan of free music. Not just free as in price, but free as in freedom. Understandably, I'm pretty excited about EMI's decision to un-DRM their catalog for online distribution (at least on iTunes, and maybe through other vendors as well). I actually loaded up iTunes (and QuickTime Alternative shortly afterwards) on my wintendo to see if I could find anything I liked in EMI's now unburdened catalog. Unfortunately, I failed to process the part of the article that said "starting next month." Oh well. In the meantime, here's some free (no cost, and for some, freely distributable) music I've found.

From Nancy, I've found last.fm (formerly known as audioscrobbler) They've built up a huge correlation database of what people listen to, so if you tell it you like TaQ, it figures you also like Smile.dk and Kylie Minogue. Truthfully, I can't stand Smile.dk, so take its prognosticative abilities with a grain of salt. I suppose that if I signed up for an account, I could tell it that I dislike Smile.dk, but I just can't be arsed right now. It is good, though, if you just want some music, and don't care where it comes from (and don't want to listen to the radio).

While watching a video on Youtube, I noticed some really great music I hadn't heard before. The end of the video said it was from Secession Records, an independent label out of Australia. Similar to Monotonik and 8bitpeoples, they sell CDs and distribute albums freely in MP3 format. They do very experimental stuff; I'm actually not crazy about a lot of it, but there is some good stuff there.

As I was tracing the history of Pac-Man earlier, I found that Namco has nearly the entire sountrack for Wangan Midngight Maximum Tune available for download in MP3 format. Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune is an arcade game based on a manga similar to Initial D. But where Initial D's music is typically adrenaline-pumping Eurobeat, WMMT employs high-energy trance created by the talented Yuzo Koshiro.

While not quite as free as everything above, I've recently played a little O2Jam. It's a rhythm game similar to Beatmania or DDR, but designed to play on the keyboard. There is a wide variety of music on it, including songs from sanxion7 (who has been mentioned before) and DM Ashura (who also has a lot of his music available here).

RELEASE THE BEAR!

Today is the day when Jesus, having spent three days in a tomb after being crucified, arose from the dead. His tomb was found empty, and an angel announced that Jesus was resurrected. Only, nobody knew where He was. Jesus was on the loose, and hungry for BRAINS. Or was it eternal salvation for all mankind? I always get fuzzy on that last part.

Most kids, however, are much more interested in the American Easter tradition. You know, the one where a perverse lagomorphic furry makes kids hunt for disco-colored boiled chicken embryos. For their cooperation, parents are rewarded with kids that are hopped up on sugar and a lingering but untraceable rotten egg smell in about six months.

Caught in the sugar buzz, my mom brought home a treasure trove of leftover easter candy, including a pack of white chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. White chocolate? Why would you even do that to a peanut butter cup? They have taken what is quite possibly the world's greatest union, peanut butter and chocolate, and turned it into a cruel farce. It's just wrong.

Anywho, enjoy your Easter, and watch out for the reanimated corpse of the son of God! :P

In a recent conversation with Erickson, I realized that there is a particular curse word that I haven't used on my blog. I now intend to not only rectify this egregious oversight, but to do so in a font visible to your mother from across the room.

Cunt

There we are. And now, to balance out my karma:

Puppies

That is all.

I've bitched here before about Gunbound's convoluted launching system. To recap, the process is something like this:

1. Open up Internet Explorer. No, you can't use Mozilla. Or Opera. Or god forbid, anything that runs on a non-Windows platform. The reason for this will become apparent in step 3.
2. Log in on the website.
3. Click on the "Play Now!" button. This button is Flash. It kicks in an ActiveX control to load the game launcher proper.
4. Click "Play" in the game launcher.
5. Wait for the largely impotent hacking protection monitor to load.
6. You're now playing Gunbound!

Not exactly the most streamlined process, but the part that really gets me is the reliance on an ActiveX control. That's a method that was used quite successfully in 1998 on the Internet Gaming Zone (which later became the MSN Gaming Zone, and god knows what it is now. Gaming Zone .NET?). Why is such a widely used game still relying on a method only supported by what is arguably the worst browser on the 'net? Well, Gunbound is Korean. And things are a little different in Korea.

It's a widely publicized fact that South Korea has the highest broadband penetration rate in the world. South Korea is very connected, and South Koreans do a lot online. More interestingly, though, is that 99.9% of computers in South Korea run Windows (by comparison, the US sees someting like 80-90% Windows). This seems disturbingly high. Did Microsoft do something terribly right? Did they successfully create the monopoly there that they failed to do here? Actually, no. Microsoft is not to blame, and the story is even weirder.

Back in 1998, 128-bit SSL didn't exist yet, and South Korea's government wouldn't allow the existing 40-bit SSL for online transactions (and rightly so). So instead of waiting for 128-bit SSL to be finalized (which happened in 1999), South Korea developed its own 128-bit security system called SEED. SEED was originally available as both a Netscape 4 plugin and as an ActiveX control for IE. Well, Netscape lost the browser war, and the only option left was to use IE. So for the past eight years, the only way to do online banking, interface with secure government sites, or do anything secure online in South Korea was to use Internet Explorer. And so, everything that couldn't run Internet Explorer died. That is why South Korea is 99.9% Windows.

In an environment like that, it's no shock that a popular game uses ActiveX. It's not even an inconvenience; everyone is already using IE. It's completely and utterly ridiculous. The good news is that people are fighting to change this. A group called "OpenWeb" is suing the Korean government to get them to adopt open web standards.

Remember kiddies, monoculture is bad.

I've been playing Second Life off and on for a while, now. For those of you who aren't familiar with Second Life, I'll explain it briefly.

Second Life is a massive virtual reality environment. It simulates simple objects, which can be scripted, and you interact with this world through an "avatar." If you've read Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash, it's very similar to his "Metaverse." A huge range of activities are possible, from shooting to racing to... shooting. Well, I've been told there are a lot of activities. "What's the goal?" you may be asking. Despite its wide-ranging and open-ended environment, Second Life is played with one very simple rule: If at any point you start caring about Second Life, you lose.

Naturally, SL's combination of Lego-like object construction and what amounts to a very simple parallel programming environment has proven to be an irresistible force for me. After I get done with work, I go to SL and have fun programming new, interesting, and quite annoying objects. One such object is the LOL Shooter, a shoulder-mounted anything-goes projectile launcher. It shoots a wide variety of objects ranging from rolls of toilet paper to giraffe-print chairs to giant metal phalluses. It's become the griefer weapon of choice for my brother and his miscreant friends.

SL's success rests on its virtual economy. Instead of charging a certain amount per month just to play, SL starts you off with a "basic" account. You can do a lot of stuff with a basic account, but for the things that require you to shell out some cash, US Dollars can be exchanged for Linden Dollars (and vice versa). This simple idea has turned Second Life into something of a virtual country. Best of all, it's sufficient to keep the game afloat for the company while still allowing free access for anyone. Where a lot of MMO's fail it, SL has this important aspect figured out.

SL is not all sunshine and rainbows, though. Since you don't have to stay logged in, most of the "grid" has an eerie ghost-town quality to it. Almost all of the mainland is occupied, but if you traverse it, you will find almost no people. Generally, people are helpful, but there's no shortage of griefers, either. And, as you would expect, SL is chock-full of bizarre, deviant, and tasteless shit (but you could say that about anything on the internet). The game itself is pretty buggy, as well. You can tell how stable a game is when there is slang like "relog" (short for re-login).

But it's fun enough when it does work, and I haven't paid a dime for it. That puts me way ahead in my book. :)

This past weekend I drove up to Kenosha, WI to visit Chrissy. I hadn't seen her since before Brian's death, and she wasn't able to come to the funeral, so it was really great to see her. On the way up, I stopped by Mitsuwa to try and find an Okami art book for Jen (no dice). When I got back to my car, I was literally seeing double. Another red CRX had been parked right next to mine. It's a pity I couldn't stick around and find out who the other driver was; I'm certain its placement next to mine was intentional.

While I've not traveled every road that exists, I have driven very nearly coast to coast, and I can say without any hyperbole that Kenosha, WI has the worst intersections I have ever seen. Horizontal and vertical stoplights, stacks of directional stoplights, turn lanes that veer off like left-lane highway exits, and signs galore are just some of their many bewildering features. One intersection featured two right turn lanes, but there was a sign saying that right turn on red was only allowed from the rightmost right turn lane. Many roads are divided by a lane of rumble strip or Jersey barriers, and trying to find a place that allows a left turn onto these roads is an exercise in frustration. I don't think this is just a Wisconsin thing, either. Chrissy and I drove up the lakefront into Racine, which had standard sane intersections. Kenosha street planners, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Mike was there Sunday night, too, and we discussed such interesting things as "Are over-the-air channel frequencies the same as Cable TV channel frequencies?" (A: Only for channels 2-13) and "Colloquialisms that exist south of I-80" (Do you "make dinner" or do you "fix dinner"?). On Monday Chrissy and I ate breakfast at IHOP and drove out to the lake (not very far). It was a beautiful day, but since the sun is trying to kill me, we eventually wound up back inside, where I walked Chrissy through the process of filing her taxes online (and at least in the case of her federal return, for free. Check out IRS Free File). Chrissy had business to attend to, so I left.

On my way back, I arranged to stop by and have dinner with Jen. I took the short way, which is to say I took the path of shortest distance, but apparently the most 45MPH zones and stoplights. On the map, you'll see it as "US Route 41." It took me nearly two hours to get to Jen's place, but I didn't have to backtrack, and I successfully navigated Chicago according to the advice of a friend: "All the streets are numbered."

By the time I got to Jen's place, our original plans had been shot. Instead, we ate at the Bar Louie right next to Wrigley Field. I still don't understand the draw of Bar Louie. OK food, OK drinks, and a toasted tan waitress. I could get that at a lot of places. It was nice to see Jen, if only for a little bit, but the night was far from over. I had a long drive back, and once I was pointed in the right direction (one of these days I'll get my bearings in that concrete jungle), I got to see a side of Chicago that I'd never seen before.

As close as Jen is to the lake, the easiest way to get back to the interstate was via Lake Shore Drive. That is an amazing drive at night, and I began to see the inspiration for such games as Rad Racer, Cruisin' USA, and Sega Outrun. As I crossed the bridge over the mouth of the Chicago River, I did an actual double-take at the river's nocturnal beauty. It's a pretty jaw-dropping visual, so if you ever have the option of leaving Chicago that way, I recommend it fully.

I've also come to a realization: I don't hate cities. Cities, it turns out, are pretty cool places to be. I hate suburbs. Suburbs are soul-sucking mediocrity transmogrified into a place to live. I have described the suburbs as being similar to an old video game — once you hit the edge of the map, it loops back to the other side. In the suburbs, you are stuck a never-ending landscape of housing developments, country clubs, and malls that is as unchanging as it is sprawling. And they are the same whether they surround Chicago, Seattle, or Washington DC. Any particular chunk of suburb could be from Naperville, Bellevue, or Potomac. It's just, "Bleh."

Bleh!

I've probably mentioned here at least once that I'm a big fan of Love Hina, and lately, I've been reading some of his other works. I'm really enjoying his older A.I. ga Tomaranai, and I just picked up the first issue of Mahou Sensei Negima! on my recent trip to Chicago. Now that I've seen the breadth of his work, I've noticed a disturbing trend. A.I., released in 1994 involves one geeky protagonist and two girls. Love Hina, released four years later in 1998, involves one geeky protagonist and six girls. His latest work, Mahou Sensei Negima!, involves one geeky protagonist and 31 girls. I think you see where this is going.

I have attempted to model this growth by fitting the data to an exponential function. For those who don't recall, an exponential function is one that has the form

f(x) = Aebx

Where e is the natural number (2.718281828...), and A and b are constants we have to find. I'll not bore you with the details, but by plugging in his first two works, and making x the number of years since 1994, we find that A = 2.0 and b = 0.2747:

f(x) = 2e0.2747x

Solving this for Negima, though, yields only a little less than 24 girls, far shy of 31. Thus, the number of females in Ken Akamatsu's manga are actually growing faster than exponentially. Here's what it looks like (courtesy of gnuplot).

The solid red line is the growth rate observed, and the broken green line is the growth predicted by the above equation. While the equation has proven to be inaccurate, we can nevertheless use it as a lower bound. If Ken Akamatsu comes out with another series in 2008, which seems reasonable, it will have at least 93 girls. Of course, since it is actually growing faster than that, it is likely that there will be over a hundred.

Of course, no such analysis would be complete without a quote from America's most famous cynic:

There is something fascinating about science.  One gets such wholesale
returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
                -- Mark Twain