Unfortunately, I'm incredibly picky. When I want a phone, I want a phone. First and foremost, it should accurately convey sound between me and the person I'm talking to. That's what it's for, right? I don't need a camera (already have one, thanks!), I don't need it to play music (Got things that do that, too...), and I certainly don't need it to organize my daily activities (If I need that, I'll get a wife). I do want a web browser, but you can browse the web on a toaster these days; I'd be hard pressed to find one without rudimentary web browsing abilities. I would like it to be rugged, as I've been known to drop my phone a number of times. This basically rules out anything with a slide or a hinge. Oh, and since I'm a Nokia fanboy, let's automatically discard anything made by another company.
What does this leave from Cingular's offerings? One measly phone, the Nokia 6030. In its defense, it is a basic, standard phone. It is, unfortunately, almost identical to the one I have. OK, it does have a FM radio, but no points for guessing how often I'd use that. The most absurd part, though, is that Cingular isn't giving this phone away. No, this phone, which is one of the most basic phones Cingular offers, will cost you $20 with a one-year contract. Maybe I'm being too restrictive, here. Let's remove the Nokia requirement and see what we've got in the freebie bin, now.
Oh, joy. Three phones. The Motorola L6, L2, and a dinky little thing called a Firefly. I think that Motorola makes good phones — they certainly have a lot of radio experience under their belt. However, I had the chance to look over Chrissy's RAZR, and Moto's interface is absolutely terrible when compared to Nokia's Finnish refinement. The Firefly is a phone for kids that looks like a first-generation iMac mated with an anal suppository.
At this point I'm thinking that maybe I should just bite the bullet and buy a phone elsewhere. Here's the thing, though: If my phone is being subsidized by my carrier, I'm fine with it being a dinky little simple thing as long as it works. I mean, if it didn't cost me anything, I've got no right to complain. But if I'm buying a phone out of my own pocket, I want it to be my phone, and if it's my phone, I want to be able to hack the thing straight to hell. I won't be happy until I've got a web server and a bash prompt on the thing. Which means it's going to be a Linux smartphone.
Getting much hype lately is the Qtopia Greenphone. It looks good on paper, but the thing costs $700. For that much, I could get an iPhone and even afford to use it for about a month. Or I could get a PS3 and one game. Or I could get two Wiis, a Nintendo DS Lite, and $70 worth of Japanese snack food. The list goes on. Fact is, this phone is for rich hackers, and I am not yet a rich hacker.
Also in the press is the OpenMoko-enabled FIC Neo1973, which looks nice, and is a reasonable $350, but isn't actually on the market yet. It seems that Motorola is going to be coming out with more Linux phones in the future, like the inexpensive SCPL, but I don't know if that's any improvement on their current lineup.
In the end, I think I'm just going to keep my plain, disgustingly-styled little Nokia, and hope that I find something in the future that will fit my finely-specified tastes.