bytex64.net

So there's this girl who works at Serendipity. I guess she's nothing special, but I have this special weakness towards pigtails. In fact, she sort of looks like unixgirlhttp://overclocked.keenspace.com/images/unixgirl.jpg
from my webcomic, overclocked, except that she also has the thick emo glasses that I also have a weakness for.

So anyway, I got one of their chicago dogs and a drink. As she handed me my order:

Girl: Here you go, Chip.

Oh, yeah... As an interesting side effect of their ordering system, which involves checking boxes and putting your name at the top, she now knows my name, and I have no idea what hers is.

Me: Thanks. *smile*.
Girl: So, do you like the French rolls?
Chip's Internal Monologue: Shit. What's a French roll? Is that the bun? Look like you're thinking hard about it, maybe she won't think you're an idiot.
Me: Hmm...
Girl: You've had a hot dog here before, right?
Me: Oh, yeah.
Girl: Yeah, we switched to the French rolls instead of regular hot dog buns, and I'm just taking a survey on it.
Chip's Internal Monologue: Oh, so that's a French roll. You're an idiot.
Me: Oh, yeah, I like the French rolls a lot more. They're much better at holding everything in. *smile*.
Girl: Yeah. *smile*. Alright, thanks.
Me: *smile*.

Ok, so on the Bytex64 Official Scale of Looking Like a Complete Doofus, I think I scored lower than I usually do. I'm not too worried about it. I have to wonder, though, if Serendipity isn't bent on world domination through the carefully calculated use of cute girls.

It's a well known fact that cute girls are the most dangerous weapon known to man. They're forbidden by the Geneva Convention. If a cute girl was ever sent to battle, and so much as stubbed her toe on a rock, the entire war would grind to a halt, and men on both sides would be killing their fellow men for the right to help her. In fact, it's been rumored that North Korea is stockpiling BoA/pix/boa.jpg
clones in order to make an assault on Japan, the world's leader in cute girl production. After securing Japan's idols, world domination will be easy.

It's the only explanation I can come up with. Really, who would pay $5.50 for a sandwich, unless there was a cute girl handing it to you? I certainly wouldn't. Their subtle mind control has worked itself over on me. There's probably some subliminal messages I'm missing, too.

Cute Girl: Alright, here's your sandwich! KILLYOURFAMILYANDYOURFRIENDSANDEVERYTHINGYOULOVE
Me: ... What?
Cute Girl: Have a nice day! *smile*
Me: Ok...

Cute girls. They'll be the end of me, for sure.

UPDATE: The files have been accepted by the Internet Archive. You can go download the good quality versions now.

I've been working non-stop all weekend on this. Well, except for the part where I volunteered to videotape the DDR competition yesterday. Today, I didn't shower, I didn't leave the house, and didn't eat (more than twice) until I finished it. After much blood, sweat, and beers, here it is: Video Free Somethingrather. You'll have to find it in the list. It's the "Crap quality" link. It's about 24MB, and is just under 10 minutes long.

That page isn't linked in with the others yet. Consider this a pre-release party for my friends. :) Also, you'll have to tolerate the 300kb version while I upload the higher quality versions to the Internet Archive. Coral Cache doesn't like anything over 50MB, and the medium quality and high quality versions are 70MB and 114MB, respectively. High quality is sort of a misnomer... The quality is something more like a slightly used VHS tape. Medium quality is like a very used VHS tape on SLP mode. Low quality is just plain awful. :) The guys at the archive say approval can take up to 48 hours, so you'll just have to be patient if you want to see the good version.

As usual, I want to hear your comments, questions, etc. You can reply to this post for now, but I'll have a comment box up on the VFS section shortly.

Now to get to work on Episode 2. :)

I was at Meijer the other day with William Wang. He crashed here last night before heading up to the Chicagoland area for an Ultimate Frisbee tournament. One of the items he needed was toothpaste, and apparently, it's impossible to get toothpaste without WHITENING. Seriously. I sat and read off the names: Tartar Control with WHITENING, Baking Soda and Peroxide with WHITENING, WHITENING EXPRESSIONS, Dual Action WHITENING, EXTRA WHITENING, Multicare WHITENING... and that's just Crest. I think that if they had the ability to simultaneously whiten your teeth and relieve the discomfort of hemorrhoids, you'd see Preparation H Hemorrhoidal Suppositories with WHITENING.

Not that I have a problem with WHITENING. If people want white teeth, that's fine. It's not like they have a choice, though, really. I'd like to lash out and point the finger at some communist plot to make us all have whiter teeth, but that's even too absurd for me to suggest.

The DDR Illini 'Burning Heat' Summer Dance-Off was today, and I took an astonishing one hour and twenty-seven minutes of footage, which when converted to the computer, took up seventeen hojillion bytes. Actually, I'd set the bitrate so the whole thing would fit on a CD, so it took 680MB. Step two is burning the CD and handing it off to Marty, who will then hack and slash it, and turn it loose on his website. I'd like to do that myself, but I've already got my hands full with VFS. Which, I might add, is coming soon... I just need to spend about 10 more hours on it. :) What's that?

*sigh*. No... I wasn't planning on doing anything fun tonight, anyway.

I don't normally do this, but I thought this was so hilarious and to the point that I had to share it with you. Apologies to those who already saw this on James' blog.

First read this. Got it? Now read the next one.

I only wish that when this happens to me, I would get to punch out some old, crazy geezer. It might make me feel better to know that it's not entirely my fault.

So if a girl asks if you can "just stay friends," what happens if you say no? Has any guy ever had the balls to do this? To tell a girl that you really wanted something more, and that you're dissapointed that it won't happen? I'm not sure that it would make things any better, but I'd like to believe that being honest about your feelings is better than going along with something you really don't want.

I've also been thinking about creating a mobile version of this site. However, I think that I'd be deluding myself if I thought anybody cared enough to waste minutes/data transfer on reading my boring ass crap. Anybody who cares could just use the Google WAP gateway anyway.

UPDATE: Holy crap, that's my joke!

On the way home I pondered: If the makers of Mr. Coffee made a machine to make tea, would it be... Mr. Tea? At the end of its cycle, would it say something like, "I pity th' brew that don't come from Mr. Tea!"?

Ok, well I thought it was funny. So at work we have this software, which will remain anonymous to protect the poor hapless fool that made it. It's what you'd call "internal," it was written by someone at the university, for purposes inside the university. The source code was included. Figuring I could probably improve upon it, I looked over the source code to examine exactly what it does. What it does isn't important, but right at the top, in a large comment describing the intent of the file, the author says, "I'm not a programmer."

*blink* *blink*

Huh?

How do non-programmers get into situations like this? Do they find these people at the Holiday Inn Express? Does management say, "Well, real programmers are expensive, let's get an undergrad from the philosophy department to write this." I mean, really. If you're not qualified, don't do it.

Suppose your car develops a squeak. You take it to a local car shop, where a greasy man looks at it, and tells you you need a new crankshaft pulley, rear brakes, camshaft belt, and power steering pump. He assures you that your car isn't safe to drive in its current state, and you hand him the check. Offhandedly, he mentions, "Oh, by the way, I'm not actually a mechanic." Doesn't that make you a little nervous?

We really need to start certifying these people. I mean, not for everything, but if you're writing a piece of software that's important to the running of a business *cough*banner*cough*, shouldn't the customer be assured that the programmers are competent? If an architect did something equivalent to the for-case paradigm, nobody'd ever let him touch a drafting pencil again.

Sheesh.

As I was out for a drive charging my battery yesterday, I spotted the red RX-7 again. (So far, there are two other FC RX-7s that I've seen in town. One is a Series 4 GXL with an added Turbo II wing, usually seen with a shoe polish "63" on its window. The other is a red Sport that's probably a Series 5, since it's not rusty around the edges like mine.) Unfortunately it had turned left from Main onto Vine while I was stuck at a red light on the south end of the intersection, so it Zoom Zoomed away without me being able to follow it.

At some point I may have mentioned that I really don't care what a girl looks like. While it's certainly true that when I meet the right girl, it doesn't matter, it's not like I don't have a preference. :) Here, for your reference, is Chip's Perfect Girl Metric, henceforth abbreviated as CPGM.

Hair	Red, flowing down to the shoulders. I've always been a sucker for redheads. I'm not that picky as to whether or not its natural. I mean, how many Asians do you know with natural red hair? Color combinations with red are also good.
Eyes	Brown or Black, and when the sunlight hits them, there should be flecks of gold.
Height	My height, ideally, but this matters a lot less than the rest.
T&A	A wise friend once told me, "More than a handful is too much." I have to agree.
Personality	I want someone who will challenge me. I don't want a conciliatory, fawning girl who wants to pamper me. Neither do I want a princess who thinks that I'm here to serve her. I want an adventurous girl who'll meet me on equal footing, and isn't afraid to smack me when I deserve it.
Smile	Above all else, the smile is the most important part for me. A radiant smile that makes you feel good is something that can't be faked and will last for a lifetime.
Hobbies	Things I don't do. While it's nice to have some commonality, I've come to realize that finding someone who does everything that you do is not nearly as interesting as finding someone with whom you can share something new.
Car	Red Mazda RX-7

As you can see, the RX-7 kinda plays into a fantasy I have. One day, I'll meet the mysterious red RX-7 on a deserted, twisting road, and we'll race. At the end of the race, the door to the red RX-7 will open, and out will walk this beautiful red-headed Asian girl with a radiant smile who enjoys snowboarding and rally racing.

Yeah, right.

Firstly, I'd like to assure you that Yan and I are working on Video Free Somethingrather, it's just that we seem to be having trouble simultaneously being in the same location, with a camera, awake, and willing to humiliate ourselves on film. The major problem is the awake part; Yan sleeps almost constantly, unless he's doing something else. *sigh*. We're working on it.

As I near the end of my college career, I see two different paths I can follow. The first path leads here. I stay here, get a job working for the university or NCSA or something, marry someone in the community, and have kids who will repeat the midwestern life-cycle of growing up, marrying someone in the community, and having kids who will repeat the... Sorry, got caught in a meta-loop there. The second path leads anywhere. I throw sanity to the wind, leave town to explore the world, and quite possibly never return. Please note that neither of these paths is really rooted in any rational thought. These are the two things I want to do. It's not a matter of willpower, it's a matter of choice.

Of course, I've always been attracted to the path less taken, so the idea of leaving town has a certain something to it that stirs the romantic in me. I'm not sure, though, how long I could maintain that romantic feeling without friends to share it with.

Lately, this town feels too familiar, like a toy that used to be shiny and interesting, but now shows its age and imperfections. Of course it's still a nice place to live. It's just that, well, I'd like to experience some place new. No, the suburbs don't count. As much as I'd like to head to the city and work for a consulting firm and tell everyone what to do, I don't think I'd be happy doing that in the long run.

Which brings me to the crux of the matter: Which one of these paths leads to happiness? It's entirely possible that both, either, or neither do, which is what makes this an impossible decision. A friend of mine, Jay Tamboli, left for a Washington, D.C. internship one summer, and never returned. I guess I was kinda bummed about it for a while, but the thing is, he found a place he really liked, full of things he liked to do. I can't fault a guy for finding happiness, and fighting for it. I'd like that to happen to me, but I think I'd have to sample a lot of places before I found something right. I just don't have that kind of lifespan.

I feel like I'm somehow doomed to mediocrity. It's the same feeling I've had since grade school, that I'm completely unable to find the path less taken, let alone travel it. Of course, it's not what you do, but how you do it. It is what you make of your experiences, not the experiences themselves, that matter. I feel, though, that the world at large gives me a much larger palette from which to color my world.

*sigh*. Sleep for now.

I'm really getting the swing of Cinelerra. To demonstrate my state of in-swing-ness, I have created a small video demoing some of my driving from GT4. Here it is, RX-7 Rad Raver. It's a considerably higher quality than the other stuff (900kbit XviD video w/128kbit MP3 audio), so it weighs in at around 14.1 MB. If you don't think that's worth downloading so you can see two minutes of virtual racing, I can't really blame you.

Rad Raver is the name of the song I used, a remix of the music in Rad Racer. You can find it on VGMix. I noticed that the original song was by Nobuo Uematsu, better known for the 3000 songs he did for every Final Fantasy ever made. I was a bit surprised, until I remembered that Rad Racer was also made by Square (back when it was Square, not Squaresoft or Square Enix).

Anyway, the point of the video wasn't really to showcase my driving talent, as I was actually driving pretty poorly. The fact that you don't realize from the video is that I'm actually something like seven seconds behind a Lancer Evo. You can barely see it in the distance as I launch into the back straight. The point of the video was to try out all the things I've learned in Cinelerra lately, like fader and projector keyframing, and turn it into a professional looking video. I'm pretty pleased with it, since I was actually able to do everything I wanted to do. In fairness, though, I have to mention that I used The GIMP to do all the text. Who loves the Neon logo script-fu? I do. :)

*yawn*. I'm heading home tomorrow for the fourth, so I should probably get some sleep. 'night.

A lone hacker works on a terminal in a poorly-lit computer lab. As he pulls his hair out, another hacker enters the room.

Hacker 1: Hey, I've got some good news.

Hacker 0: You fixed the bug?

Hacker 1: Oh, that? No. But I did significantly speed up my hard drive access by running 'hdparm -c3 -u1 -d1 -k1 /dev/hda'.

The first hacker stares disbelievingly as the other hacker smiles and leaves.

---

Our main media computer, appropriately named "jukebox," has had a problem with its 120GB hard drive since we put it in. For some reason, the IDE chipset (or the Linux driver) defaults to pio0 mode. For those who have no idea what this means, it is the most basic hard drive access method there is, and gives you abysmal transfer rates with 100% CPU usage. We were getting around 3MB/sec off of this drive, which worked fine for watching video, but if we were doing something else, like downloading another show with bittorrent, noticeable freezes would appear when watching. I thought I had tried using hdparm to fix this before, but apparently I didn't use the right switches.

Anyway, with that, disk access is up to 20MB/sec with ~30% CPU usage. As an added bonus, the same command run on the primary hard drive (which was already running in udma3 mode) upped disk access to a similar level from 10MB/sec. I'd been looking for another IDE controller to fix this problem, so I'm pretty happy that all it needed was some tweaking. I found the command in a document full of tweaks for speeding up Cinelerra, which included such questionable things as disabling swap space and hacking the kernel to disable kswapd, so I wasn't too sure if it was going to work. I just tried it on my K6-2 machine, and got more modest improvements. There's also a warning about -c3 causing read errors, so if that doesn't work, disable it with 'hdparm -c0'.

In celebration, I'm going to go encode some video!

If you didn't find the little checkbox on the left hand side of the page, uh, read the rest of this before you try it out. :) I was thinking the other day, "Could I crawl the entire document tree of a webpage and scramble the text content? Could I do this while you're looking at it?" So I wrote some code, and came up with the scrambler! Here's how it works:

Load it into your webpage with

<script type="text/javascript" src="scrambler.js"></script>

It's a good idea to put this in the <head> section, since it will have to be loaded before the next part runs. Then, where you want the checkbox to show up, put in

<script type="text/javascript">
print_scramblethingy();
</script>

As a bonus feature, you can execute the underlying auto-scrambling code by calling start_scramble(node) and stop_scramble(). The node argument is a DOM Element (my favorite example is document.body). You can also scramble once with scramble(node). Oh, and as you might expect, I have no idea if it works in Internet Explorer.

Have fun. }:->